
“...because a heathen is a heathen.”
A Monty Pythonesque tale of a band of Crusaders who find themselves in possession of an alien ship and the alien to pilot it. Armed with the means to conquer the Holy Land, the naive Crusaders set off on a grand crusade, only to find themselves not in Jerusalem, but at the mercy of an entire alien world.
Release Date: 6/2/1994
Runtime: 100 minutes
Languages: English, French
Directors: Holger Neuhäuser, Klaus Knoesel
00Companies: Centropolis Film Productions, Claussen+Wöbke Filmproduktion
Countries: Germany
Patrick E. Abe
I read Poul Anderson's book way back in high school in the 1960's. (The pre-computer, pre-Internet, pre-everything Age!.;) The idea that a technologically advanced Alien civilization could be tamed, much less conquered by a "swords-knights-archers" group was intriguing. The War in Vietnam was about to go from "advisors and observers" to "boots on the ground," which resonated with me at the time. I saw this film on DVD and bought it, wondering how this tale played out. The setup was fine, then the spaceship landed at a gate...and went no farther. Did the producers runs out of money or ideas? (Or both?) Comedy may be hard, but this back-and-forth "five finger exercise" got OLD immediately. So the Knights in Shining Armor didn't conquer the technically advanced Alien civilization, but returned to Earth, no wiser and still as parochial as "the nation of shopkeepers" stereotype. This "Ed Wood-level" movie screams for a swashbuckling remake, but "Star Wars" has "been there, done that." Final rating: 2/5, as schticky Anime source material.

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